Enough is enough, you said to yourself last night. This is going to be the last joint.
But then you wake up the next morning. Groggy. Agitated. Craving.
You get your coffee and check your email and… Oh wait. I still have a little herb left in my jar.
No big deal. You decide to just throw it away. Maybe even empty it into the trash so you aren’t tempted to fish it out later.
So you get ready to dump it all out. Then you hesitate.
It’s not really necessary, you think. I’m not gonna to smoke it, but I don’t need to throw it out right now either.
The rest of the morning passes uneventfully. Another day at work.
Around 2:45 pm you get an uneasy feeling. What will I do when I get home tonight? Workout? Netflix? Have a drink?
None of those things sound appealing. Or rather, they don’t sound too appealing without smoking up first.
Suddenly things seem bleak. Your world feels colorless. Joyless.
Worries creep in…
You remember that argument with your partner. What are they thinking now?
That credit card bill keeps getting bigger. Will I be able to make my payment?
Your manager got on your case yesterday. Am I still on track for a promotion?
And then there’s loneliness…
It’s occurred to you that your pals are mostly your stoner friends. You wonder if they’ll still want to hang out with you if you’re not sharing a bowl. After all, you almost never hang out sober.
So I have to find new friends? Where will I meet them? Would I even like hanging out with people while sober?
The clock creeps toward 5 pm.
It’s hard to recall how you felt last night. When you said you were done for good.
All you know is that you don’t feel that way right now. Just one bowl would really help turn this day around.
But you decided to quit. You have so many reasons, too.
You remind yourself how much money you’ll save. You could easily pay your credit card bill – and then some – by giving up weed.
That will be nice. But I’ll save just as much money if I quit tomorrow.
After all, you still have enough left in your jar for tonight.
Today was difficult, and there’s no reason you should feel bored and tense tonight.
Tonight will be the last night. I know I said that last night, but I still have this gram and I know I would feel better if I smoked it…
On the drive home you think about all your reasons for quitting. Are they actually good reasons? How do I know my life won’t be worse without weed?
You finally get home. Traffic was awful.
And there, on your desk, is your jar.
By this point you’ve pretty much decided that quitting today is optional. Sure, you’ll definitely quit soon, but today isn’t a good day.
Almost automatically you begin grinding your remaining herb. This is the right decision – today is not the day.
You finish the joint. A few minutes into your high you realize you made a mistake. I don’t even like this anymore.
But it’s too late. You’re stoned again. Tonight will be just like every other night.
It’s clear now: your marijuana habit is causing you pure misery. You’ll never be truly happy if you don’t quit. The time to quit is now. Tomorrow will be Day 1.
And then you wake up, and it’s the next morning.