There was a time in my life when I thought weed made it easier to make new friends.
I thought it made me more relaxed. I thought it made me seem cooler.
And it gave me a way to connect with new people. That is, as long as they also liked smoking bowls.
“Hey, you want to smoke?” And if they were into it, the answer would be yes.
It wasn’t until later in life that I realized this was all wrong.
It was wrong for several reasons.
For one thing, it didn’t exactly make me more relaxed. It made me stoned and lethargic, and often times angry, but not truly relaxed.
And about those friends I made…
I learned that most of those “friendships” were predicated on my drug use. If I wasn’t smoking with them, they weren’t as interested in hanging out.
It seems so obvious now. What can I say? I’m a slow learner.
Social Skills Are Like a Muscle
Especially for those of us who are the sensitive, introverted types. Learning how to be social doesn’t always come easy, but you can develop the skill with practice. Just like building muscle by working out consistently.
When you’re high all the time, that social ‘muscle’ starts to weaken.
For one thing, you don’t really feel like socializing. So you’ll probably avoid it as much as you can.
And when you do find yourself with other people, you aren’t really present.
Your eye contact, your body language, your lack of engagement… other people pick up on it. They can tell you’re not really with them. And it’s a turn off.
What will you do when your stoner friends fade out of your life? Because most of them inevitably will.
They might stop smoking. Or you won’t have the opportunity to be around them as much because you’re not in school together anymore or whatever.
The answer: you’ll have to make new friends. Except now you have to make new friends the old-fashioned way: by being a friend yourself.
You can definitely do it. But you’re probably out of practice.
For a long time you either befriended fellow weed smokers (a “friendship” based entirely around drug use), or you buried your feelings of loneliness with marijuana.
Being Drug Free Will Enhance Your Social Skills
Here’s the good news: simply kicking your weed habit will go a long way toward improving your social skills.
You’ll find yourself actually wanting to be with other people. And they will sense your genuine interest in them.
It might feel like you suddenly have a superpower. You can somehow hold conversations with people, listening and reciprocating.
And if you’re a little rusty, there’s a simple solution: go be around people.
Find a place to volunteer. Join a sports league or take a class. Take group lessons to learn a new skill.
You’ll quickly get it back. Human beings are meant to be social.
The best part is, these new friendships will be based on something enduring: a mutual care for one another. No expectations that you’ll be loading the next bowl.
All you have to do is be yourself.
Listen: your life will be better if you can just give up your pot addiction. And it will happen faster than you think.
You can do it. And if you need help, I wrote a free guide to quitting pot that you can check out.
To your success.